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Another Mess

by Chrissy Rubcich

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1.
Sound The Alarm 03:06
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Call off the guards Don’t sound the alarm Most of us don’t want to be found We’ll wander the streets Like a zombie parade Straight through the heart of this dead end ghost town We’re just trying to keep it alive We’ll play Russian roulette tonight With a bottle, a needle, a pipe Half my generation’s wasting away You see the problems not turning our ‘will’s into ‘won’t’s It’s the lack of air on the Jersey coast Checking the paper For familiar names Keep your family close A state of war has been claimed Against ourselves, against each other, Against the endless prescription bottles pulling us under We’ll play Russian roulette tonight With a bottle, a needle, a pipe Half my generation’s wasting away You see the problems not turning our ‘will’s into ‘won’t’s It’s the lack of air on the Jersey coast All my friends are dead or lonely Or scared of waking up that way All my friends are dead or lonely Or scared of waking up that way All my friends are dead or lonely Or scared of waking up that way All my friends are dead or lonely Or scared of waking up that way
2.
#BANNED 03:07
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Counting my steps in from the door Know you don’t want me here anymore I’ll stay long enough to get the answers I deserve Devising a plan, a proper trap Hording first editions until you get back More things you don’t want or need like me They call it moving mountains when you’re moving on They call it a good thing when you’re gone All of their words spew from my mouth Useless cliches you never gave a shit about They called it You think it’s cute we both have bruised knees Falling over words we placed so strategically Your poetry died for me in the back of your car Every syllable rips me apart Now I wander drunk or drugged trying to forget what you said They call it moving mountains when you’re moving on They call it a good thing when you’re gone All of their words spew from my mouth Useless cliches you never gave a shit about They called it If you wanna dance, dance, dance with your demons I’ll let you If you wanna cry, cry, cry like I’m ruining your life If you wanna dance, dance, dance with your demons I’ll let you If you wanna try to apologize it kills me every time they called it They called it moving mountains when you’re moving on They call it a good thing when you’re gone All of their words spew from my mouth Useless cliches you never gave a shit about They called it
3.
Death Rattle and Roll 03:27
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You were just bones, love A skeleton with a smile I held you and you cracked saying “It’s been a while” That night we laughed and ate candy out of your hazmat bag Chinese with your parents, a beer with your Dad If we could just stay there in my memories We’ll forget death or famine, war and disease The hospital white reflects in your face These beeping machines say all the things that you can’t say I don’t want to remember you this way They gave you a pill to lighten your pain You swore you say teenage pop stars on the brink of their fame It’s so hard to lose someone when they’re already gone Three generations cried all the way home If we could just stay there in my memories We’ll forget death or famine, war and disease The hospital white reflects in your face These beeping machines say all the things that you can’t say I don’t want to remember you this way The last time I heard from you it was a 3am call You made me feel wanted and then walked me to my car Sealed your promise with a kiss, you’ll call when you get back to town I never heard from you again, I hope you hear this now If we could just stay there in my memories We’ll forget death or famine, war and disease The hospital white reflects in your face These beeping machines say all the things that you can’t say I don’t want to remember you this way
4.
Couldn't Be Easy 03:27
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I remember the night that we met There were no stars glistening, no moon based silhouettes I walked into the room and thought I saw you Just mirages by the alcohol And I think it’s time to confess I’m losing my head again And I know the answer can be found at the bottom if I keep drinking it You’re so beautiful ignorant, it’s the way of your curse I’m so charmingly chaotic, keep them hanging on every word Together we’re a train wreck both fucked up and miserable This was supposed to be a love song but I don’t write those anymore And I think it’s time to confess I’m losing my head again And I know the answer can be found at the bottom if I keep drinking it So I do I once was lost, now I’m found I always lose myself when you’re around I once thought I had found my way out I won’t let you bring me back down, me back down And I think it’s time to confess I’m losing my head again And I know the answer can be found at the bottom if I keep drinking it So I do
5.
Boy 03:06
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Boy, you thought you had me all figured out Then I stretched my arms wide out and tried to fly You took my heart and held it high above your head Dwindled then I fell, I might be breathing but I’m still dead And they’ll never see your face and all that you hide from them You lied, you lied, you lied, you lied Get out of this city, out of this city now If it was just me I wouldn’t care Don’t even see you standing there Get out of this city, out of this city now You’ll probably die sad and all alone They’re surrounding you now This city’s no place for a boy Boy, you fed me line and line again I am not your lover nor your friend as far as anyone here is concerned And I, I, I put myself out on the line for you so many times I hope it hurts you to know that I faked it Get out of this city, out of this city now If it was just me I wouldn’t care Don’t even see you standing there Get out of this city, out of this city now You’ll probably die sad and all alone They’re surrounding you now, they’re surrounding you now Get out, get out, get out, get out, get out Get out of this city, out of this city now If it was just me I wouldn’t care Don’t even see you standing there Get out of this city, out of this city now You’ll probably die sad and all alone They’re surrounding you now This city’s no place for a boy
6.
Library 03:19
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Important things we learned they weren’t in the books I’ll go down to the library, return all those dirty looks They think we’re robbers, smugglers, and thieves We’re the best thing that we could be, we’re free She lost her head, walked up to the mailbox never to return again She fumbles with her fingers, finds herself a razor, now she’s fighting to win Know that it’s just fair play, Let’s all of those screams out I’ll show you one day, show you what this life’s about Important things we learned they weren’t in the books I’ll go down to the library and return all those dirty looks They think we’re robbers, smugglers, and thieves We’re the best thing that we could be, we’re free He picks up a lighter trying to ignite the feelings that he can’t ignore “Come on, son, just breathe deep. You’re looking like a mess from your humble spot on the floor.” I’m just trying to show you that one day if we try everything will be okay Why don’t we just save it? Wrap it up and tape it. Use it on a rainy day Important things we learned they weren’t in the books I’ll go down to the library, return all those dirty looks They think we’re robbers, they think we’re smugglers, they think we’re thieves We’re the best thing that we could be, we’re free Just grab your friends and I’ll grab mine Don’t be cautious, we don’t have the time The minute hand and the hour, they collapse Well I’ve got you, you’ve got me I’ll try to teach how to be happy If you, if you, you can teach me how to feel The important things we learned they weren’t in the books I’ll go down to the library, return all those dirty looks They think we’re robbers, they think we’re smugglers, they think we’re thieves We’re the best thing that we could be, we’re free
7.
Don't Tell Me 04:30
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I woke up this morning and I saw the hand of God He offered to help me find my way I went to sleep last night, I saw the horns of a Devil He looked me in the eyes and said “Welcome to sin.” It’s a crazy world Let’s not caught up or caught onto Even if we crunch and curl This space is too small for us to fit into Come on, wake up, Sweetheart Just dry your tears, Sweetheart As much as you toss and turn Or as much as you claim to Don’t worry it was just a night I’ve already forgotten about you Walking down the street with the wind going through the air Then I saw your face, I wasn’t worried about that glare I saw something special in you, keep that in your head ‘Cause as for all your dignity you left that in my bed You were mine Even if it was just for a night No one recalls It’s vague to me ‘cause we turned out the light Come on, wake up, Sweetheart Just dry your tears, Sweetheart As much as you toss and turn Or as much as you claim to Don’t worry it was just a night I’ve forgotten Don’t tell me that you’re losing sleep Don’t tell me that this is what you need Don’t tell me, don’t tell me Don’t tell me that you’re losing sleep Don’t tell me that this is what you need Don’t tell me, don’t tell me It’s a crazy world Let’s not get caught up or caught onto Even if we crunch and curl This space is too small for us to fit into Come on, wake up, Sweetheart Just dry your tears, Sweetheart As much as you toss and turn Or as much as you claim to Don’t worry it was just a night I’ve already forgotten about you
8.
Mountains 02:41
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I would of never made it up the mountain But you, you showed me the way I would of never sat on the road ’Till we sat in the middle that day Four wheels surround me Keep me safe I’ll keep breathing on ‘till the mountain takes me away I would of never cleared my head If you didn’t open up your ears It’s killed me so the words I didn’t know It destroyed me for over three years The conversations go on, the river flows on The trees will keep us here We blocked the river to swim, my words fell in The tragedy of the year I put my whole heart into things ’till the crash made me lose it all Now I’m hung by a thread on the side of your car Hoping I don’t fall Heart beats surround me Keep me safe I’ll keep breathing on ‘till the mountains take me away
9.
The Defender 04:53
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Sitting poolside with our demons beside us  Who are we becoming tonight? A shot and a beer, I can feel my secrets forming into audible words coming to light The bad guy role you play, I imagine, gets boring after a while But your friends they'll still love you if they knew what happens behind that smile We're the nightmare fighters, the sad song writers with the lowest of self esteem We'll take it in stride, all the beautiful things in life All the states and the miles in between Singing loudly to the songs that made us who we are today The melodies that broke us, the words that say exactly what we needed to say Now you’re standing before me, lyrics written all over your face Not a boy with a problem, looking for attention but a man who can keep all of monsters at bay We're the nightmare fighters, the sad song writers with the lowest of self esteem We'll take it in stride, all the beautiful things in life All the states and the miles in between Don't look now, your colors are showing They're beautiful if you look at them right Don't look now, your colors, they're glowing Let your friends see that light Don't look down, we're right on the edge I'm learning how to hold my tongue and breath Don't look now, we’re winning this battle We just haven't won it yet We're the nightmare fighters, the sad song writers with the lowest of self esteem We'll take it in stride, all the beautiful things in life All the states and the miles in between Sitting poolside with our demons behind us I love who we’re becoming tonight
10.
Fight Fair 03:19
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You’re fake just like the shade of your skin and the color of your hair But I’m the biggest hypocrite ‘cause I had you for the traits that we share You could ruin yourself A risk I’m willing to take But you worked so hard Shut your mouth for god’s sake You should take my guidance Well look where you’ve guided me now I’m good to go and ready to find How lights my load when I leave my baggage behind It may be the road, the road, the road less traveled But it still gets me there I’m knee deep in this war but Who said I had to fight fair? You’re the middle child, the problem child, and everything in between Much to wide to fit inside any mold but your head’s not as thick as it seems I bet your finger’s down your throat I’ll deny, I’ll deny I could help you, you know Don’t you try, don’t you try I could get a doctor and you could get some help, don’t leave When I fell and lost my foot that was all that made sense to me You’re just a girl who started screaming for attention When she found out that neon signs, blood red lines don’t work And when you scream, you scream as loud as anyone A face in the crowd to everyone I hear you’re falling off the earth So make a name, make a name for yourself Here’s six strings, some bars Get those monsters off your shelf And make, create, celebrate a name for yourself And I’m good to go and ready to find How lights my load when I leave my baggage behind It may be the road, the road, the road less traveled But it still gets me there I’m knee deep in this war but Who said I had to fight fair?
11.
Firestarter 03:01
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The way I romanticize it you’d think the sidewalk’s painted gold It’d be easier to stick it around, destroy us all to go My head and heart are contaminated with ‘what if’s and ‘so what’s I have no sense of direct, it’s time to trust my gut The city’s playing favorites, play this song to get me through They devour the electric and love their djs too Before I leave I’ll take revenge upon those not so pure of sound You better watch me as I burn this place to the ground I think it’s kind of funny that we’re all yearning for the road We make all of these empty plans but none of us will go I’ve been the same bands play the same bars every single night Why not give someone else a chance to stick it out and fight? The city’s playing favorites, play this song to get me through They devour the electric and love their djs too Before I leave I’ll take revenge upon those not so pure of sound You better watch, you better watch me now The city’s playing favorites, play this song to get me through They devour the electric and love their djs too Before I leave I’ll take revenge upon those not so pure of sound You better watch me as I burn this place to the ground As I burn this place to the ground As I burn this place to the ground

about

This album was written between 2003-2015.
Recorded, Mixed, and Mastered with Nik Bruzzese at Small Hill Studios in Williamstown, NJ.
All songs written and performed by Chrissy Rubcich.
All additional noise made by Nik Bruzzese.

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released May 3, 2016

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Chrissy Rubcich New Jersey

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